Sex, Lies and Drugs

The European Union has changed its methodology to calculate GDP (Gross Domestic Product) and every European is richer. Since last Wednesday, 1 October, illegal activities as prostitution and drug trafficking are added to the GDP. As GDP measures the economic performance, today every country in the European Union is producing much more wealth than Tuesday. Also the state deficit, that is calculated as a percentage of GDP, has suddenly been reduced; austerity measures are working.kerb crawling 😀

The per capita income, used as a measure of the wealth of the population, has been increased; if you live in some nation of the EU, you are richer today than Tuesday, according to government statistics. Have you noticed it? 😀

So, since Wednesday, EU economic politics is working… thanks to a statistical change. “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics” (Mark Twain).

A la carte statistics

One could wonder, and how is calculated the money produced by prostitution and drug trafficking? For some reason, the entrepreneurs of this kind of business don’t like to disclose their illegal activities to authorities. Maybe with telephone surveys. Survey takers can phone thousands of people; if a man answer, they ask “do you hire whores?”, if a woman answer they ask “are you a whore?”.

But the survey seems slow, expensive, and a bit unreliable. Often people don’t collaborate in surveys, we can lie or refuse to answer; that happens in every survey, and it’s not more reliable when someone asks people about their participation in illegal activities.

But don’t worry, surveys aren’t needed, it’s much easier: each government may make up the number that they prefer. As simple as that. Who can refute a number that is unknown for everyone?

Prime ministers must be patting themselves on their backs for this great idea. Do a prime minister need 7.930 millions € more to rise from recession? Ok, then he can say that his country produces 7.931 millions € with prostitution and drugs. Voilà, there is not recession! Or, even better, he can add a ‘0’, 79.310 millions €, and so his country is achieving an economic miracle!

I guess new statistical changes will be applied soon to resolve other troubles, like the unemployment or the poverty. Our leaders have hit the nail on the head.

I would love to hit them on their heads.


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