Dumb and Dumber II

Bush and Rajoy, Dumb and Dumber

In the first part of this post we could know their personalities -a talkative and witty George, a serious and elusive Mariano or, in other words, a funny silly and a solemn stupid-, their qualities as leaders and statesmen, and their huge knowledges about any matter. In this second part, we’ll know more about them.

Teachers

But take care, there are terrifying mages here. Mariano had a good teacher in the art of terrorizing enemies with his gaze and words: Jose Maria Aznar, Spanish president between 1996 and 2004, and boss of Mariano until recently -now Mariano is an office boy of Angela Merkel-. Just a bit taller than Danny deVito, but cockier than Steven Seagal.

AznarAnd George Walker Bush had a good teacher as well, his father, ex-director of CIA and ex-president of USA, George Herbert Bush. The man whom people could read his lips. A man with strong opinions, and he trasnmitted them to his son.

Let’s sweep the small criminals off the streets. (Jose M. Aznar. Just the ‘small’ ones, curious)

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them. (George H. Bush)

A statesman must challenge public opinion when it suits. (Jose M. Aznar)

It’s a very good question, very direct, and I’m not going to answer it. (George H. Bush)

George H. BushThe other day, in Canada, during the G-8, was with President Bush when he put his feet on the table and asked, ‘Are you still playing sports?’. I said ‘yes’ and he said: ‘I do 4 miles on 6m 24s’. I put my feet on the table and I said, ‘I do 10 miles in 5m 20s’. (Jose M. Aznar)

I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli. (George H. Bush)

   

Relentless with evil

But let’s come back with our guests, George and Mariano. They know very well who is the enemy, and they’ll be relentless.

Rajoy threateningIt’s a demonstration of how much grotesque, frivolous and irresponsible this man is. (Mariano Rajoy, when he was in opposition, talking of Zapatero, the Spanish president between 2004 and 2011)

The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him. (George W. Bush)

Whimsical, capricious and inconsistent. (Mariano Rajoy, describing Zapatero)

I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority. (George W. Bush, six months later his previous quote)

Complexed, with poor awareness and confused ideas. (Mariano Rajoy, once more talking of Zapatero)

BushBecause he’s hiding. (George W. Bush, asked why his administration had been unable to locate and arrest Bin Laden)

Unworthy, coward. (Mariano Rajoy, talking of Zapatero)

But all in all, it’s been a fabulous year for Laura and me. (George W. Bush, in December 2001, three months after September 11)

Pleased loser. (Mariano Rajoy, talking of… guess it)

I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive. (George W. Bush, during an interview on a golf course)

Zapatero comes to Galicia to kick… he’s going to behave like a British hooligan. (Mariano Rajoy and his favorite matter)

After all, this is a guy that tried to kill my dad at one time. (George W. Bush, about Saddam Hussein, explaining why USA and NATO should start a war against Iraq)

Radical, crafty, conniving. (Mariano Rajoy, talking of…)

Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction. (George W. Bush, president of USA)

RajoyAgitator….radical… is a man quite unreliable. (Mariano Rajoy, talking of…)

This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table. (George W. Bush)

Ambiguous… vague… weak and unstable. (Mariano Rajoy. Maybe he should look for a psychiatrist to talk of this issue)

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully. (George W. Bush, showing that he can make peace with the enemy when the moment comes)

Iraq wasn’t so lucky as fish, and it was finally attacked. There, George and Mariano agreed about the famous weapons of mass destruction. In fact, George found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and Mariano believed him, of course. In that age Mariano was vice-president in the Government of Aznar, other man who saw the weapons of mass destruction..

We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories … And we’ll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven’t found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they’re wrong, we found them. (George W. Bush)

Bush with phone

 

Look, that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and has them is almost an objective fact. I have the conviction that weapons of mass destruction will appear. (Mariano Rajoy)

Perhaps they should have looked for weapons of mass destruction in Bush’s nation. It’s rumored that there are nuclear weapons in U.S.A.

Sometimes they’ll deceive their enemies, to make them become over-confident. Mainly George is a master in this art. 

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so we are. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither we do. (George W. Bush)

I want to convey to Spanish people a message of hope. ETA is a great nation… Sorry, Spain is a great nation. (Mariano Rajoy talking after a terrorist attack by the Basque separatist organization ETA)

Rajoy stumbling

I’m telling you there’s an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That’s the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best. (George W. Bush)

 

Faithful with allies

On the other side, they know how to deal with their allies and friends. When Angela Merkel asks for a coffee, Mariano is always the fastest to serve it.

George W. Bush
El Jueves cover, Angela Merkel and Mariano Rajoy
El Jueves cover, taken from aporrea.org

My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific. (George W. Bush, in Japan)

Nobody in Europe put pressure on me, I did. (Mariano Rajoy, explaining Spain’s bailout)

I’m oftentimes asked, What difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot. It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a… it’s in our national interest. (George W. Bush, in Ghana)

Tireless workers

George and Mariano always have had a great sense of responsibility.

Rajoy sleeping in Parliament

I go mainly because the Spanish team is the champion of the world. The Spanish team deserves my presence. After all, the match is best viewed at home, and also I could see Nadal’s victory over Novak Djokovic. (Mariano Rajoy, justifying his travel to see a football match in Poland the day after Spain’s bailout, and regretting that he’ll not see a tennis match)

I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake. (George W. Bush, asked by his best moment since he took office)

Long live the wine! (Mariano Rajoy. Perhaps this explains his other sentences)

Rajoy in Fallas

Honestly, until the moment being I would say that George is winning in this competition between Dumb and Dumber. But George is retired and Mariano is starting, just seven months as president, let him more time and we’ll see.

 

           

 

P.S.: Mariano has made several mistakes that managed to piss off the Spanish and European financial oligarchy. This wasn’t his intention, of course, but he is imbecile and often he gets the opposite of what he wanted. He is now trying to be forgiven, obeying each order from his boss, Angela Merkel, but it doesn’t seem enough.

On the other hand, Spanish people is protesting and doing demonstrations daily against his criminal politic. In many parts of Spain there are constant disturbances and battles in streets against police.

I bet he’ll be kicked off soon. A world record, if he manages to destroy a country and to be kicked off in less than one year. My prediction is that Mariano will not end this year as president. And I’ll do as any journalist: if it happens and Mariano is kicked off, I’ll claim in this blog “I told you so!”; if it doesn’t happen, I’ll say nothing, hoping readers will have forgotten it.

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